Well I’m in day 2 of my redemption program. Went this morning and boy did it feel good.  Now since that is on track, i just need to figure out how to get my money and keep from going back into depression.

I pulled out my old records, over the weekend, apparently i went over for about 10 months.. how frickin cool is that eh? Imagine me, being consistent for 10 months. I started in Jan 02, i found records going all the way until Dec 02. I’m not sure, if the effect will be the same now… i mean, then i vividly remember, that it took me just 1 month to start seeing the difference. The price was almost half too then.

Well now given the weather, I reckon, it will take about 2 months for me start seeing changes, gotta hold on till then.

Coming to the disciple, I have my serious doubts, and I still do. yeah, yeah, its all been great with the flowers and the lamps et al, but the truth is I’m dunno if I’m prepared for such a role. Like red said, let go of all doubt, hold on and climb. Maybe I just need to do that. let’s see.

Well today i truly started on the road to my redemption. I decided, not to sit on my ass and moan about things, when actually I can do something about it.  I took the fist step today, many miles from home, and while i was standing there in that chamber, unsure of what the results would be, or whether this will work, all i feel is a sense of comfortable familiarity.

Life’s a bitch, the way things have been goin over the last couple of days. I’m not sure, why…the truth is i’m not sure anymore.

The 2nd round of the serum was a total failure.  It didn’t work. I don’t know whats next. The fact remains that, this never seems to leave me alone. Just when 1 thing gets done and over with, another fucking thing pops up.

My body has become immune to the serum, why me? It’s bad enough my immune system is half dead, but why in God’s name does it have to resist just this.  Most people who see me will never even get what’s happening, but now, i’d be lucky if people don’t see this.

The last resort i guess is the tried and tested gamma radiation.  Sigh, i need to go see the old doctor again. I hope she’s still alive. She was pretty old the last time i saw her.

Oh and the make things worse, my leaving is become a major hassle. I don’t understand why they don’t get it. I just need to go.

Depression setting in fast. I’ve got to break free really fast. Need to fix the holes in the base of my skull too. Leading a double life just ain’t as easy in comic books.

On the bright side..well…there is no bright site. The Pain overall is simply just too much handle. I need to sleep and sleep well and pray that this pain goes away. Every bit of my body is in pain, its a lot more than i can handle. I don’t know what else to do.

lets hope for the best.